The Questions Families Are Often Too Afraid to Ask About Care Home Fees

Talking about money isn’t always easy. And when those conversations involve someone you love, their future care and everything they’ve worked so hard for, finding the words can feel even harder.

At Westcott Care, we know there are questions families sometimes hesitate to ask, perhaps because they feel uncomfortable, worry about being judged or simply don’t know where to begin. But we believe every question deserves an honest, compassionate answer.

Here, our founder, Andrew Whelan, shares his own family’s experience of navigating the care system and offers some reassurance around the financial questions that so many families face.

Andrew Whelan, Founder of Westcott Care:

“When my family needed care for my grandmother, I discovered just how difficult the care system could be to understand. Both my parents were doctors, yet even with their experience, finding our way through the decisions, assessments and financial questions wasn’t straightforward.

“It’s an experience that has stayed with me, and one of the reasons I founded Westcott Care.

“I’ve since come to understand that some of the hardest questions families face aren’t necessarily about the care itself. They’re about money. What happens to the family home? Who’s expected to pay? What if the savings run out? And what does it mean for everything someone has worked so hard to build?

“These questions can bring feelings of guilt, anxiety and uncertainty, particularly when you’re already worried about someone you love. But asking about money doesn’t mean you care any less about the person who needs support.

“At Westcott, we believe families deserve clear, compassionate answers, without judgement or pressure. So let’s talk about some of the questions people often find hardest to ask.”

Who Is Responsible for Paying Care Home Fees?

In England, responsibility for paying for care home fees generally rests with the person receiving care, although their local council or the NHS may contribute towards or cover the cost, depending on their financial circumstances and care needs.

When someone moves into a care home, the local council can carry out a care needs assessment and a care home financial assessment to establish whether they’re eligible for financial support.

Adam Davison, Home Manager at Clarendon Grange:

“We would like to reassure families that relatives are not automatically legally responsible for paying a loved one’s care home fees. Being someone’s son, daughter, husband, wife or other family member does not mean you are responsible for their care costs. We appreciate that financial matters can be worrying, particularly when a loved one requires ongoing care and support. We can help explain the agreed funding arrangements and direct families to the appropriate department where necessary.”

How does a care home Financial Assessment work?

According to the government’s 2026/2027 social care funding guidance, the financial thresholds in England are:  

• Savings and assessable capital above £23,250: The person will usually be responsible for funding their own care.
• Between £14,250 and £23,250: The council may contribute towards eligible care costs, with the person contributing from their income and a calculated amount based on their capital.
• Below £14,250: The council may provide financial support, although the person will usually still contribute from their income.

These figures apply to England, rather than every part of the UK. The value of a property may also be included in the assessment, depending on individual circumstances.

Can NHS Continuing Healthcare cover care home fees?

For people with certain complex health needs, NHS Continuing Healthcare may cover the full cost of their assessed care, regardless of savings. NHS-funded nursing care may also contribute towards nursing costs for eligible residents receiving specialist nursing care.

If you’re wondering how much are care home fees, the answer will depend on the home, the type of care required and the support available. Understanding the funding arrangements is just as important as understanding the weekly fee.

Will I Have to Sell My Home to Pay for Care Home Fees?

No, moving into a care home doesn’t automatically mean you have to sell your home. Whether the property’s value is considered when assessing care home fees depends on your circumstances, including who continues to live there.

For example, if your husband, wife or civil partner remains living in the property, its value is normally disregarded during the financial assessment. Protections can also apply when certain other relatives live there, including qualifying relatives aged 60 or over or those who are incapacitated.

If the property is included in the assessment, there may still be alternatives to selling it immediately.

A 12-week property disregard can provide a period of financial support when someone first moves permanently into residential care, subject to eligibility.

Shelly Ralph, Home Manager at Cartmel Grange:

“We understand that one of the biggest concerns families can have when considering care home living is what will happen to the family home. It’s reassuring to know that there are different options available, and that families don’t have to make these important decisions alone or feel rushed into anything. Our team is always happy to offer guidance, listen to your concerns and help you explore the options available. We want families to feel informed, supported and confident in their decisions, so they can focus on what really matters, ensuring their loved one receives the care, comfort and support they deserve.”

Could a Deferred Payment Agreement help?

Some homeowners may also qualify for a Deferred Payment Agreement, allowing care costs to be deferred against the value of their property and repaid later. This is not free funding, and interest or administration charges may apply.

For many people, a home represents far more than a financial asset. It’s where children grew up, birthdays were celebrated and decades of memories were made. The thought of selling it can feel overwhelming.

That’s why it’s worth understanding the options before making decisions that may be difficult to reverse.

What Happens If I Can’t Afford Care Home Fees?

If you can’t afford care home fees, you may be eligible for financial assistance from your local council or, in some circumstances, the NHS. You shouldn’t assume that having limited savings means residential care is out of reach.

Your first step should be to contact your local council’s adult social care team and request a needs assessment and financial assessment.

If you have eligible care needs, the council will consider what support it must arrange and how much you’re able to contribute.

It’s also worth asking whether an assessment for NHS Continuing Healthcare is appropriate, particularly where someone has complex or significant ongoing health needs.

Nicola Sowerby, Home Manager of Appleby Grange:

“As a care home manager, regardless of whether a family has a resident with us here at Appleby or is still in the process of looking for the right care home, I will support them to contact the local council, help arrange Care Act assessments with social workers and NHS Continuing Healthcare (CHC) reviews. I will also work with District Nurses to organise fast-track funding where appropriate. It is a very scary experience for families. They are worried about their loved ones and should not also have to worry about all the technical side of things, so if I can help lighten their burden, I will.”

When might a third-party top-up fee apply?

Sometimes families worry that asking for financial help will mean having no say in where their loved one lives. While council funding can affect the available options, the council must consider the person’s assessed needs and arrange suitable care.

There may be situations where a preferred home costs more than the council’s personal budget. A voluntary third-party top-up fee might then be an option, although families should understand the ongoing commitment before agreeing. It’s also worth noting that a top-up shouldn’t be required simply because the council cannot identify a suitable care home within its usual budget. 

If you’re still exploring what kind of support might be right, our guide to residential care explains what everyday life in a care home can look like, and how care is shaped around each person’s individual needs. 

To learn more about care home costs, please don’t hesitate to get in touch. We can help you understand the questions to ask and where to seek appropriate financial guidance, without expecting you to have everything worked out beforehand. Get in touch with us here. 

Are Children Legally Responsible for Paying Their Parent’s Care Home Fees?

No. In England, adult children aren’t automatically legally responsible for paying their parents’ care home fees. A parent’s financial assessment is based on their own financial circumstances, not their children’s savings, income or property.

This is something I think more families need to hear.

We often speak to people who want to do everything possible for their mum or dad. That sense of responsibility comes from love, but it can sometimes become tangled up with an expectation that they should personally fund their parent’s care.

You can support someone through the process, help them understand their options and advocate for their needs without taking on their financial obligations.

There are circumstances where a family member might voluntarily agree to pay a care home top-up fee, or become responsible for payments under a contract they’ve signed. Those are separate arrangements and should never be entered into without understanding the implications.

Being a devoted son or daughter isn’t measured by how much you can afford to contribute.

What Happens When Someone’s Money Runs Out While They’re in a Care Home?

If someone is self-funding their care and their savings begin to run low, they may become eligible for local authority financial support. However, this doesn’t happen automatically, so it’s important to contact the council before their money reaches the upper capital threshold.

For example, imagine someone who has been paying their own care home fees for several years. Their savings are gradually reducing, and their family becomes concerned about what will happen next.

They can ask the council to reassess their financial circumstances and eligible care needs. If they qualify, the council may begin contributing towards their care.

Mandy Dennis, Home Manager at Doddlespool Hall:

“When a loved one comes into care, it is always about collaboration and working together to make sure residents receive the best possible care, with family and friends remaining a big part of their lives. As a home, we build good relationships with families and want them to recognise that we are here to support them as much as their loved ones. We encourage families to be open, honest and transparent about any concerns they have, no matter how big or small they may be. 

We will always try to help, and if we don’t have the answer, we can find out. It is important to keep an eye on finances, keeping up-to-date records of any bank accounts or financial transactions to help support the process, as these may be requested when applying for financial support. Try to work out how long the money will last, taking into account current fees and annual increases, and make a note in your diary or set an alert to help you manage potential timeframes. This is useful, especially as we all lead busy lives and sometimes it is easy to forget. 

Do not leave it until it is too late, as this may add to your worries. Talk to the staff and management and ask for their help, as there could be other financial support your loved one may be entitled to. But most of all, do not be afraid to talk about finances. We are here to help, and although we deal with the care side at home level, we have a great support network across the company that is here for families too.”

Will you have to move care homes if your savings run out?

One concern families often have is whether their loved one will have to move.

A move isn’t inevitable, but it is possible if the existing home’s fees exceed what the council will fund and no suitable arrangement can be agreed. The council must consider the person’s needs and wellbeing when reviewing their placement.

If you’re approaching this situation, we’d always encourage an early conversation with both the care home and local council.

At Westcott, we understand how important the relationships, routines and friendships formed within a home can become. We want families to feel comfortable raising financial concerns early, so there’s time to explore the available options together.

Is It Wrong to Worry About How Much of My Inheritance Will Be Spent on Care?

No. Worrying about inheritance doesn’t mean you care any less about your parent or loved one, or the quality of care they receive. It’s a natural concern, particularly when a family home or savings represent a lifetime of hard work and careful planning.

Money and inheritance can be difficult subjects to discuss openly. You might worry about appearing selfish, or feel uncomfortable admitting that you’re concerned about your own family’s financial future.

But it’s possible to want the very best care for someone you love and still feel anxious about what that care will cost.

The important thing is to approach these conversations with honesty, remembering that the money and assets belong to the person receiving care, and their needs, wishes and rights must remain central.

What counts as deprivation of assets?

Some families wonder whether transferring property or giving away savings could protect an inheritance. However, deliberately disposing of assets to avoid care home fees can be treated as deprivation of assets, meaning the council may still take their value into account.

Independent legal or specialist financial advice can help families understand their options without making decisions based on fear or misinformation.

And perhaps most importantly, these conversations don’t have to happen behind closed doors. It’s okay to ask. It’s okay to worry. And it’s okay not to know the answers.

Still have questions about care home fees? We’re Here to Listen

There’s no denying that conversations about paying for care home fees can be difficult. Behind every financial decision is a person, a family and a future that matters deeply to everyone involved. And sometimes, the worry of making the wrong decision can feel just as overwhelming as the decisions themselves.

At Westcott Care, we understand that these conversations aren’t always straightforward, and we don’t expect you to have all the answers before getting in touch. You might be worried about how you’ll afford care, uncertain about the support available or simply unsure where to begin. Whatever’s on your mind, we’ll always make time to listen.

While we can’t provide specialist legal or financial advice, we can help you understand your care options, talk through your concerns and point you towards the people who can offer further guidance. And if you’re ready to take the next step, you’re always welcome to explore our care homes and discover the people and places that make Westcott feel like home.

Most importantly, please don’t feel that any question is too difficult, too personal or too uncomfortable to ask. We’re here to help you find a little more clarity and reassurance, whatever your circumstances.

Not sure where to start with care home fees? Get in touch with us here for a friendly, no-jargon conversation.